sharing this to console anyone that is concerned, hesitant or unsure about getting the vaccine…

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine from a CVS in Vineland, NJ. The day after that I had to lay down for a full 24 hours and felt like garbage – no fever, but felt like I did, everything hurt, joints, head, hair, everything…weak, tired. The day after I bounced back to almost feeling even better than the day before. This is pretty on point with everyone that I’ve talked to about their experience. OK, rewind…

The month before that, I was at home (as one will be these days) on a Saturday night and was thinking “I should probably get more proactive about getting us the vaccine”. Chiara is high risk and eligible and I live with her so I’ll just include myself in that. I got the number of someone who is a “vaccination angel” who works with her sister to help people find cancelled slots for people at CVS’s in New Jersey. I texted her and within 20 minutes she had appointments for the following day for both of us.

This is when things mentally sort of took a turn… briefly.

The vaccine went from this nice idea to a reality and with the reality came a lot of fear. As someone who really doesn’t even take Advil and tries to avoid anything medical, chemical, etc. I got pretty freaked out that tomorrow I was entering into this. And suddenly all the wacked out, crazy conspiracy shit started seeping in to my brain. I’ll spare you the thoughts but I’m sure you know them.

Observation #1 : I consider this proof that conspiracy is a fear coping tactic. Over the past year I have tried to understand how people can fall so deep into conspiracy theories and it makes sense – It is a form of dealing with fear and trying to gain control – by creating a false reality that feels easier than accepting the real one, while also “gaining control” because your reality has now become the reality YOU created.

That night before my first appointment there I was saying in my head “What if they are right? What if this some mass murder plot? microchip? what about that long term effects? isn’t it suspicious they created it so quickly? what if I get really sick? die? there isn’t a lot of research? etc.”

SO, now the point of this writing – how did I handle it?

Amidst my cloud of fear and delusion surrounding the vaccine I went to a few specific thoughts that really helped me do what I now ultimately feel is the best thing for myself, my friends and family and the world at this point to get thru this:

1. Some of my closest family members and friends have gotten this exact vaccine already and others are planning on it, SO if for some reason these insane theories are correct at least we all go down together.
2. What am I gonna be the only person on earth who doesn’t get vaccinated? no.
3. The human body is incredibly resilient, self-healing and cleansing. Anything I ingest will be naturally broken down and rid of over time. I don’t even have a single same cell I had 7 years ago.
4. The sense of relief that will come from this – to know I and those closest to me will be protected – is much better than hypothetical alternatives.
5. Coronaviruses are a family of viruses, they have been researching and developing them for years, COVID is a new form of something that is already common and familiar – which might explain why it was such a quick turnaround.
6. Side effects are sign of a good immune system doing it’s job – 24 hours of that for protection from something potentially much worse and life threatening is a good trade.

I’m sure there were others but I think that’s a good place to start. If you can get vaccinated, do it, you will be ok and we will all be together hanging, playing shows and exploring the world again and all of this will feel like a bad dream someday. Hopefully this provided a little consolation if you shared the fear going into it.